Conclusions
by Twelvepercent
Summary: He only received one letter from her. After three years it was time to give up.  post Pataki's/TJM
1. Chapter 1

**After more than a year's absence, I'm back at the computer. I must say that my most creative hours happen to start in the early hours of the morning. Usually around four or five am. Now that I'm working graveyard shifts again I've received a surge of creativity and I'm working on like three separate HA fanfics at once. I'm really excited about them. I've almost completely finished this story and I will be posting the next few chapters in a timely fashion. **

**This story's setting takes place after The Pataki's spinoff. Arnold has been away from Hillwood for about three years. This first chapter is a bit gloomy but I'm sure football head will get over it. Enjoy!**

I stopped counting the letters. They didn't address much. I would write about a strange looking mammal I would find in the trees or the constant rain that would leave as fast as it would appear. I wrote about my parents and the humanitarian work I was helping them with. At first, these daily excerpts documenting my life were sent to keep a connection alive. It wasn't a strong connection to begin with. Each passing day and each letter meant that my hope was depleting. I only received one reply.

After all these years, I still loved her. It seems irrational but I can't help forget these feelings I have for her. I know she hates me. How could it have gone so wrong?

My letters were usually short and poorly detailed. My truest thoughts were kept to myself. I wanted to know so many things about Hillwood, our friends, and most importantly, her. I also wanted her to know how much I missed her and about how important she is to me. I refused to put those thoughts in writing. I was afraid of scaring her away.

We had dated for years. From the fourth grade to the end of middle school I had developed a strong bond with a girl who held a passionate crush on me for the majority of her life. Things were great and sometimes challenging. We would fight and argue like any other couple. Any fight we had would actually bring us closer and make our connection even stronger. We became best friends. It remained this way until the summer before high school. My parents invited me to San Lorenzo. I had every intention of declining their invitation. I couldn't leave my home in Hillwood and I couldn't leave _her_. Despite sharing my desire to stay with her, she pushed me away. Out of anger and frustration, I decided to travel with my parents.

I've only ever received one letter from her. It came without any note of the sender but I recognized her purple pen, her ornate cursive, the way she doted her "I"s. I relished in the warmth I felt holding the lone sheet of college-ruled parchment. It was a familiar feeling I've experienced while in her arms.

The note contained only four words,

"I'm not strong enough."

How could I interpret that phrase? Was she not strong enough to keep this bond at such a distance? Perhaps she's already moved on, falling head over heels for a guy who could really give her what she deserves. Something I couldn't give it to her, especially while I hid in the secluded jungles of San Lorenzo.

I sighed as I took my pen. The words I planned on writing had been memorized for months. It wasn't until now that I had the courage to articulate them on paper.

_Dear Helga,_

_I've been lying to myself. I thought that perhaps somewhere, deep inside you, you still managed to save some room for me in your heart. I understand now that all this wishful thinking isn't doing us any good. I still love you. _

_I'll stop writing._

_Love, Arnold_

I managed to reread my note over a hundred times. It was short and sweet. I couldn't think of any other way to improve it. I'm sure if I had her way with words this would be perfect.

The next morning I hesitated at the mailbox. I took a deep breath and the letter was sent.

**Seems like a bummer, right? Poor Arnold.**

**~twelvepercent :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**I forgot to mention that I don't own any of Craig Bartlett's characters. **

**This is a longer chapter. I hope you like it.**

I sat at my desk. It would sound more romantic if at that moment, I had been thinking of her. Though my thoughts usually tended to drift away and get lost somewhere in her light blond hair and her deep blue eyes, but at this moment, I was thinking about getting some shoes. I really needed to get a new pair.

"Arnold!"

She interrupted my thoughts for the millionth time. I thought I heard her voice in the distance.

"Hey Arnold!" My ears perked. It couldn't be.

I rushed out of my hut nearly falling through the screen door and tripping down the porch.

She stood before me. I couldn't believe it.

Remembering to breath remained a challenge. With wide eyes I examined the girl, no, the woman who looked so familiar and yet so foreign. She stood in the mud before my hut and was holding a large cardboard box. She wore a loose fitting t-shirt and jeans that must have tattered as she traveled though the dense jungle. These years apart changed her in so many ways. She still managed to tower over me, only now she had me beat by an inch or two. Her hips had grown more curvaceous and her chest was, well, distractingly apparent. I counted multiple piercings that decorated her ears. Here facial features were much more defined. They complemented her pouty red lips. Her radiant blue eyes took my remaining breath away.

As I studied her body, I noticed I might have had the same effect on her. Time really changes people. She looked away and cleared her throat. "I got your letter," Helga said exasperated.

I realized it was my turn to say something. "Good," was all that I could stammer.

She took a step closer only to trip on a tree root. She fell forward spilling the box's entire contents on the forest floor. Notebooks, binders, and letters went spilling forward. "Criminy," she muttered while cramming the papers back into place.

I kept looking at her in disbelief for a few minutes. Once every piece of paper was back in the box, she stood up. Helga gulped hard, looking me straight in the eyes. I like to think I know her pretty well. I was sure I knew that a profusion of words were going to spill out of her. I was right.

"I'm sorry. I'm terrible and awful, Arnold." She began. "Before you moved here, when you told me about your parents offer, and then your refusal to join them here in San Lorenzo, I became conflicted. My own desires encouraged me to relish the thought of you choosing me over them. However, I knew what was best for you." She was speaking with so much passion and eloquence, "I'm convinced that your move to San Lorenzo was for your benefit. I know what it's like to have emotionally distant parents. I couldn't let the same happen to you. It would be unfair to selfishly keep you to myself. I hoped that by instigating our break-up, you would leave me. I wanted to end our love once and for all. I pushed you away from me on purpose with your best interests at heart. I made unreasonable arguments about the tiniest things to encourage you to embrace your new life, leaving your old self, and me, behind."

I remembered our break up. It started after I told her about my parent's invitation. They wanted me to join them in San Lorenzo, for humanitarian work. They gave me the choice; I could stay in Hillwood or move to San Lorenzo with them. Once I discussed the offer to Helga, she grew distant. Like in grade school, she instigated arguments. She was critical and insulting to me. It almost seemed as if it was on purpose, as if she was driving me away.

"Since you left, I deemed it unreasonable for me to expect you to hold on to me as your new life in San Lorenzo was established. I thought the right thing for me to do was to unselfishly move on, and let you live your life with a clean slate," she admitted.

"I would like to say that since you left, things have become better for me. That was not the case. The truth is that I've been suffering, terribly. Not a day goes by where you don't inhabit my every thought. My passion for you, much to my displeasure, had actually grown since such a distance has been put between us. I rationalized however, thinking this separation was to your benefit. As long as you were happy, my suffering was justifiable. I truly thought you would be happier without me."

"Back in Hillwood, things have been, well, chaotic," Helga admitted. "Still ignored by my family and alienated by our classmates, I've kept on living through the hope that someday maybe, this mixed up little world would return us together. Perhaps we could someday be reunited. That's where my only letter comes in. I know it might have come off as a little cryptic. It wasn't a good-bye letter. It was a declaration of how I wasn't strong enough to let you go. I had hoped that perhaps by refusing to send your letters, you would be encouraged to move on, unlike me." She took a deep breath and gave a small smile, "This was obviously a failure you made clear in your last letter."

"This box contains thousands of letters that I have written for you since you've left Hillwood," she gestured towards her beat-up cardboard box. "Instead of only expressing myself through only poetry, I've written letters to you for comfort and encouragement. They've been a helpful outlet for my anger and frustrations. Until I got your last letter, I was certain these would never be in your possession. I was going to pack them somewhere deep and dark along with my feelings for you."

"So here I am Arnold," her words were spoken softly. She shivered and crossed her arms. "I ran away from Hillwood. Not just from my problems but to my solution. If your letter was true then I know, without a doubt, my place is not in Hillwood. It's beside you."

Rain had started to fall, leaving the two of us gleaming in the shadows cast by an angry moon, entrapped in the clouds. She was shivering. Her eyes were sorrowful and uneasy.

"So what do you want me to say, exactly?" I asked incredulously, "Thanks? Thanks for subjecting yourself to loneliness? Great job!" I spat.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to say," she retorted sarcastically. "I just wanted you to be happy." Her mood changed. She looked towards the raining sky and sighed, speaking almost in a whisper, "I'm happy. You can be mad about the way things turned out but I think we've both benefited from each other's absence. You were able to establish an amazing connection to your parents who lost the opportunity to know you as a small child. If you don't understand what an important bond that is, I invite you to live in the Pataki house as myself for just one week, then maybe you'll know how important that relationship is."

"I want you to know that I've gained something important in this as well. Before, my love for you was mostly a one-sided obsession. Spending this time away from you, although it was very painful and lonely, was what I needed. From your letters and a little soul searching, I've learned to take you off the pedestal I've placed you on for my entire life." She spoke softly with a lingering smile, "I no longer worship you, I respect you. I think, realizing this, I've learned to love you even more."

I finally understood her self-sacrifice. I just wish things could have turned out differently. The thought of her living in despair broke my heart. "Look, Helga. I'm sorry. It seems really stupid to be arguing about how much we obviously missed each other." I took a step closer to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. "I'm really relieved. I thought you hated me."

"I thought you hated me, Football head." She looked up towards me, tears were collecting at the corners of her eyes.

I loved to hear her call me that. That nickname, though it may seem negative, was spoken with love and endearment. It brought back strong memories of the life Helga and I have shared. I wanted to think that some unexplainable force took control over me, quickly bringing her into my embrace, but it was me. It was me who desperately wanted to hold her, lean into her, and kiss her. I pressed my lips longingly to hers. I saw her saddened eyes ease at last. They closed and she pressed her tired, shivering form into mine.

We parted but were left unsatisfied. She then took control, leading me into another kiss with all the passion that has been stored between the two of us for the last three years. Our kiss was interrupted with our own laughter. I forgot the way she made me feel. I forgot what it was like to be this happy.

"I love you, Helga." I said.

"I love you too, Football head." She said.

I lead her to my hut. Not forgetting her box, she brought herself in.

**Well, that concludes the second chapter. **

**I think I might just finish it up with two more chapters but it has the potential to go a lot longer. I'll see what happens. I also plan on making a little comic to accompany this story. I'll post it when the time comes.**

**- Twelvepercent :D**


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